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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the phrases this generation is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular memes, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly kill any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {