These Advice shared by My Parent Which Saved Us during my time as a New Parent

"I believe I was simply just surviving for the first year."

Former reality TV star Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the difficulties of being a father.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health issues surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver as well as caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every change… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan shared.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. It was a conversation with his own dad, on a public seat, that helped him see he needed help.

The direct words "You're not in a good spot. You must get assistance. How can I support you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His story is far from unique, but rarely discussed. While the public is now better used to talking about the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties fathers go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a wider failure to communicate among men, who often absorb negative perceptions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing time and again."

"It isn't a display of being weak to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he explains.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher who studies mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men frequently refuse to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not justified to be seeking help" - especially in preference to a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental well-being is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the space to request a pause - going on a couple of days abroad, away from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the logistical chores of taking care of a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -physical connection and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences resulted in his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings led him to make "poor actions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You turn to behaviours that aren't helpful," he explains. "They might temporarily change how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a New Father

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling overwhelmed, confide in a family member, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the pursuits that allowed you to feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. It could be playing sport, socialising or gaming.
• Look after the physical health - nutritious food, physical activity and if you can, sleep, all play a role in how your mental state is coping.
• Spend time with other new dads - listening to their stories, the messy ones, and also the good ones, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Understand that requesting help isn't failing - looking after you is the best way you can look after your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally had difficulty processing the passing, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his child and instead offer the security and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they try "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the feelings in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men because they acknowledged their issues, altered how they express themselves, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I wrote, sometimes I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you how to behave, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning just as much as you are on this path."